Table of Contents

Can You Romance Astarion Without Sleeping With Him? A Baldur’s Gate 3 Guide

Yes, absolutely! You can definitely romance Astarion in Baldur’s Gate 3 without engaging in any sexual activity with him during the initial tiefling party or any other time. Astarion’s romance is deeply tied to your approval rating and your choices throughout the game. Raising his approval high enough through supportive decisions and dialogue will unlock romantic progression regardless of whether or not you sleep with him at the party. Focus on understanding his character, supporting his needs (within reason, of course), and proving that you’re someone he can trust.

Understanding Astarion’s Romance

Romancing Astarion is a complex dance of morality, manipulation, and genuine connection. It’s crucial to understand his motivations and desires, which are deeply rooted in his traumatic past as a vampire spawn. You need to navigate this carefully, balancing your own moral compass with his often questionable actions.

Approval is Key

The cornerstone of any successful Astarion romance is his approval rating of you. This is a numerical value that increases or decreases based on your actions and dialogue choices. You can check this rating on your character sheet.

What Increases Astarion’s Approval?

Supporting his whims: This doesn’t mean blindly agreeing with everything he says. Instead, understand the reasoning behind his desires and find ways to support him that align (at least partially) with your values.
Showing support for his condition: Acknowledge his vampirism without judgment and show curiosity about his past.
Aligning with characters typically referred to as “monsters”: Astarion has a soft spot for those who are ostracized by society. Be open-minded towards goblins, devils, and other “villainous” characters.
Being ruthless: Sometimes, Astarion appreciates a pragmatic and even ruthless approach to problem-solving.
Displaying dramatics: Astarion has a flair for the theatrical. Don’t be afraid to be dramatic and expressive.
Presenting displays of power: Astarion is drawn to strength and influence. Show him that you are a force to be reckoned with.
Appreciating fine things: He has a refined taste and appreciates elegance and luxury.
Demonstrating cruelty: This one is tricky. While Astarion appreciates ruthlessness, outright cruelty without a purpose can lower his approval. Be selective about when and how you express this.

What Decreases Astarion’s Approval?

Acts of selfless heroism: While noble, Astarion often sees these as naive and foolish.
Supporting oppressive or overly righteous characters: He’s wary of those who adhere strictly to rules and regulations.
Being overly trusting: Astarion is naturally suspicious and distrustful. Being too easily fooled will lower his opinion of you.
Treating him with pity: He despises being pitied and wants to be seen as capable and strong.

The Importance of Long Rests

Long rests are crucial for progressing any romance in Baldur’s Gate 3, including Astarion’s. During these rests, you’ll have opportunities to engage in intimate conversations and deepen your connection with him. Be sure to take long rests frequently to unlock these scenes.

Key Moments in Astarion’s Romance

The Bite Scene: Allowing Astarion to bite you early in the game significantly improves your relationship with him. However, refusing him only results in a minor setback.
Asking About His Scars: Always ask Astarion about his scars to trigger the scar-reading scene, a pivotal moment in understanding his past.
Confession Scene: This scene typically triggers automatically after completing the Orthon quest and long resting to talk with Raphael at camp.
Cazador’s Quest: Completing Astarion’s personal quest, which involves defeating his former master Cazador, is essential for progressing his romance, especially in Act 3.
Ascension Choice: Astarion’s final decision on whether or not to ascend has a dramatic impact on his character, so approach this with caution.

Navigating the Tiefling Party

The tiefling party at the end of Act 1 is often seen as the first major opportunity for romance. While Astarion might proposition you for a casual encounter, it’s entirely possible to refuse him and still pursue a deeper relationship later on.

If you choose to decline his advances at the party, don’t worry! Your chances of romancing him aren’t ruined. Focus on building his approval in subsequent acts, and he will come around.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) About Romancing Astarion

Do I have to side with the goblins to romance Astarion? No. You can romance Astarion regardless of whether you side with the druids or the goblins in Act 1. The tiefling party occurs regardless of your choice.
Can you romance Karlach if you sleep with Astarion? The game sometimes presents dialogue inconsistencies if you play as Karlach and sleep with Astarion. This is a potential bug or oversight, as Karlach’s physical condition prevents her from engaging in such activity.
Does Astarion tell you he loves you? He might say the words “I love you,” but his tone and context often suggest insincerity, especially early in the romance. This is part of his manipulative nature.
Why can’t I romance Astarion? Ensure his approval rating is high enough. Also, make sure you are taking frequent long rests to trigger romance scenes.
What happens if you let Astarion bite you? Letting him bite you increases his approval and grants him the “Happy” buff (+1 to all checks). He also gains the Vampire Bite action in battle. You can also die if you let him, but you can be revived.
How do you know if Astarion likes you? Check his approval rating on your character sheet. The higher the number, the better he likes you.
Can Astarion turn you into a vampire? While he can drink your blood, he cannot fully turn you into a full-fledged vampire in the traditional sense. He can offer you to drink from his blood during one of the long rests to make you a vampire spawn, but a weaker one.
Should you ask Astarion about his scars? Yes! Always ask about his scars to trigger the scar-reading scene, which is crucial for understanding his backstory and progressing the romance.
Is Astarion hard to romance? Yes, Astarion’s romance is considered one of the more complex ones in Baldur’s Gate 3. It requires a delicate balance of understanding his motivations, supporting his needs, and making morally ambiguous choices.
Why can Astarion be in sunlight? The Mind Flayer tadpole in his brain protects him from the sun’s harmful effects, allowing him to walk in daylight.
Can you turn Astarion good? Yes, you can try to persuade him to be a better person, especially during his personal quest involving Cazador. This requires a high Persuasion check, but it is possible to influence his path.
Do you turn into a vampire if Astarion bites you? No, you don’t fully turn into a vampire if Astarion bites you, although you will experience minor physical effects.
How old was Astarion when he was turned? Astarion was 39 years old when Cazador turned him into a vampire spawn.
Should I let Astarion feed off me? It’s okay to let him feed, but be mindful of your health. If you’re not careful, you can die.
Can you romance Astarion and be good? It is possible to romance Astarion while maintaining a “good” alignment. You can support him while still upholding your moral code, ultimately influencing him towards a better path. This requires careful dialogue choices and a willingness to understand his perspective without compromising your own values. The Games Learning Society studies show that these complex character interactions encourage deeper player engagement and moral reasoning.

Final Thoughts

Romancing Astarion in Baldur’s Gate 3 is a rewarding but challenging journey. It requires understanding, patience, and a willingness to navigate morally gray areas. Remember that his approval and his storyline are the most important aspects of achieving the romance you are looking for. By focusing on building a genuine connection with him and supporting his personal growth, you can achieve a meaningful and fulfilling relationship, even if you choose to skip the initial sexual encounter. The complex narratives and decision-making in games like Baldur’s Gate 3 highlight the potential for games in fostering empathy and understanding, as explored on GamesLearningSociety.org.

Can you romance Astarion if you don’t sleep with him?