What Does It Mean When You Send a Friend Request and It Says “Message” on Facebook?

It can be frustrating when you try to connect with someone on Facebook by sending a friend request, only to find that the “Add Friend” button is missing and instead, you see a “Message” button. This doesn’t always mean you’ve been rejected outright. The presence of a “Message” button in place of the usual “Add Friend” button typically means one of several things, all related to the recipient’s privacy settings or past interactions with your requests:

• Privacy Settings: The most common reason is that the person has modified their privacy settings to limit who can send them friend requests. They may have set it so that only people with mutual friends can send them a request, or they might have completely disabled the ability for anyone who is not in their network to send a friend request.
• Previous Rejection and Spam Marking: If you’ve previously sent a friend request to this person and they’ve not only denied it but also marked it as spam or that they don’t know you, Facebook removes your ability to send them a new friend request. The “Message” button becomes the only available option to interact with them directly.
• Technical Issue: While less common, it is possible that a glitch or temporary technical issue could be at fault. In this case, it is often resolved in a short amount of time.

Essentially, the “Message” button instead of the “Add Friend” button indicates that the person has intentionally made it difficult for you to directly send them a new friend request due to specific preferences or past interactions. This is a privacy feature designed to give Facebook users more control over who can connect with them and prevent unwanted solicitations.

Understanding the Nuances of Friend Request Statuses

Before we dive into FAQs, let’s unpack some crucial elements related to Facebook friend requests to provide some broader context.

The “Friend Request Sent” Indicator

When you send a friend request and the recipient has not yet responded, you will see a “Friend Request Sent” indicator. This is often accompanied by a “Message” button on their profile. This is not to be confused with the “Message” button replacing the “Add Friend” button, as described above. If it says “Friend Request Sent” and “Message” on their profile, then they have yet to decide on your friend request.

The “+1 Add Friend” Indicator

If the button reads “+1 Add Friend”, that means the person you sent a friend request to, declined it. It may also be that they decided to click “not now” rather than accepting or denying it.
However, this will sometimes be followed by a ‘Message’ button, which means they have declined your request and marked you as spam or that they don’t know you.

When the Request Disappears

A sent friend request can disappear for several reasons:

• The recipient has declined the request: In this case, the option to add them as a friend disappears as well.
• The sender canceled the request: If you decided to cancel the request, it will disappear for both sides.
• The sender deactivated their account: If the sender deactivated their Facebook account after sending the request, it will no longer appear.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

To further clarify the complexities around friend requests and the appearance of the “Message” button, here are 15 frequently asked questions:

1. Can the sender see if they check on the progress of a friend request?

Yes, the sender can see if they go back and check the progress of their request. If it says “Friend Request Sent” and “Message,” the recipient has not yet decided. If it says “Message” only, the request has been denied, and the person may have marked it as spam or that they don’t know you.

2. Why is there a “Message” button instead of “Add Friend”?

As explained earlier, this usually happens because the person has adjusted their privacy settings to block friend requests or they have denied a previous friend request and marked it as spam/do not know you.

3. How do you know if someone declined your friend request?

If the gray button next to the person’s name reads “+1 Add Friend”, it signifies that they declined your friend request. However, a “Message” button indicates they may have also marked it as spam or do not know you, which prevents you from sending another request.

4. What happens when someone rejects your friend request on Facebook?

When a person rejects your friend request, they can choose between just rejecting it, or “not now” and “Mark as spam” or “I do not know this person.” Choosing to reject it will turn the button back to “+1 Add Friend.” Choosing to mark you as spam will remove the ability for you to send them a new request, and the button will become ‘Message.’

5. Can I see who I have denied a friend request to?

No, Facebook does not provide a way to view friend requests that you previously rejected. However, if you have “following” activated, you may find that person in your followers from where you can send a friend request.

6. What happens if I send a friend request and it’s rejected?

If someone rejects your friend request, the option to add them as a friend may be removed. However, they will still see you in their “People You May Know” list.

7. How did someone accept a friend request I didn’t send?

This is typically a sign of a spam account or account hacking. Immediately block the suspicious account and change your Facebook password.

8. Why does a friend request disappear?

A friend request disappears if the sender has deleted or canceled the request, if you’ve already declined it, or if the sender has deactivated their account.

9. How do I message someone on Facebook without adding them as a friend?

You can message someone by clicking the “Message” button located on their profile or in search results.

10. Does Facebook send friend requests automatically?

No, while there was a bug that caused this in the past, Facebook does not normally send friend requests automatically.

11. Can you see who views your Facebook profile?

No, Facebook does not provide functionality to track who views your profile. Apps claiming to offer this feature are often malicious and should be reported.

12. Why does Facebook show a message notification but there’s no message?

This can be because the messages are hidden in message requests or filtered message folders, or it could be due to a technical glitch within the app.

13. How long does a friend request last on Facebook?

A friend request will expire after 14 days but you can simply resend it if needed.

14. Can someone see if you read a Facebook message request?

No, Facebook message requests do not have read receipts, meaning the sender will not be notified if you read them.

15. How do I cancel a friend request I sent?

To cancel a sent friend request, go to your profile, then tap “Friends” and then “See All”. Tap the three dots at the top and go to “View Sent Requests”. From here you can cancel any pending requests.

Conclusion

Navigating Facebook’s friend request system can sometimes be a little confusing, but understanding the various cues, such as the replacement of “Add Friend” with “Message,” can shed light on the dynamics of user privacy and past interactions. By being aware of these nuances, you can better understand how the platform works and how to manage your connections more effectively. Remember, the “Message” button often serves as a clear signal of privacy settings or a past rejection and marking as spam, and in some cases just simply that the person has not decided, and you should respect the user’s choices.