Can You Romance Both Shadowheart and Lae’zel in Baldur’s Gate 3?

The short answer is: no, you cannot romance both Shadowheart and Lae’zel in the same playthrough of Baldur’s Gate 3. While the game offers numerous romantic possibilities, including some polyamorous relationships, the dynamic between Shadowheart and Lae’zel specifically prevents a simultaneous romance with both. These two characters have deeply rooted conflicts that are not easily overcome, directly influencing your relationship progression with each. Choosing to pursue a romance with one of them will essentially lock you out of the possibility of romancing the other.

Why Can’t You Romance Shadowheart and Lae’zel Simultaneously?

The core reason lies in the inherent antagonism between Shadowheart and Lae’zel. This animosity is not merely a personality clash; it’s rooted in their backstories, ideologies, and personal beliefs. Here’s a breakdown:

• Ideological Conflict: Shadowheart is a devoted follower of Shar, the goddess of darkness and secrets, while Lae’zel is a Githyanki warrior deeply dedicated to her people’s rigid, militaristic society. These two worldviews are fundamentally opposed, and they actively clash throughout the game.
• Past Encounters: Even from the start, their interactions are fraught with tension. Lae’zel, upon encountering Shadowheart in her pod, advocates for leaving her behind, immediately setting a hostile tone for their relationship.
• Favor System: Baldur’s Gate 3 utilizes an approval system where your actions influence the favorability of your companions. A decision that pleases Lae’zel will often displease Shadowheart, and vice versa. This system prevents you from currying enough favor with both of them to progress their individual romances simultaneously.
• Monogamous Requirements: Shadowheart and Lae’zel are generally not open to polyamorous relationships with each other. While some characters in BG3 are more flexible about sharing, these two are not among them. Committing to either means accepting a generally monogamous relationship, unless you’re considering other characters known to be more open to a polyamorous dynamic.

The Consequence of Your Choices

Choosing to deepen your relationship with either Shadowheart or Lae’zel has significant ramifications:

• Shadowheart Romance: Pursuing Shadowheart often requires you to be understanding of her past traumas, be patient with her secrets, and even support her choices, which could include a path leading away from her devotion to Shar. This might mean making choices that displease Lae’zel. A successful romance with Shadowheart, especially if you guide her away from Shar and towards Selûne, is a journey of trust and acceptance, leading to a potentially very fulfilling relationship.
• Lae’zel Romance: Romancing Lae’zel involves accepting her aggressive nature, her dedication to her Githyanki culture, and her often brutal worldview. Choosing her will often entail making choices that show strength, assertiveness, and, at times, ruthlessness. This almost inevitably will decrease Shadowheart’s approval of you. Lae’zel’s romance path can be just as intense, offering a different kind of fulfilling connection.
• Locking Out Others: Starting a serious romance with either one makes it significantly harder to romance other characters and is very unlikely to allow a concurrent relationship with Shadowheart or Lae’zel. The game emphasizes that once you’ve locked in a romantic arc with one character, their feelings for you are exclusive, unless you deliberately choose a character who is known to be open to polyamory.

The Poly Option and Why it doesn’t work with Shadowheart and Lae’zel

While Baldur’s Gate 3 does allow for some polyamorous relationships with certain characters like Halsin, this does not extend to Shadowheart and Lae’zel as a pair. They are not open to sharing you with each other, and their personal feelings are a strict barrier. Attempting to pursue both will often result in one, if not both, ending the relationship with the player.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Here are some common questions about romancing Shadowheart and Lae’zel, and more general romance questions in Baldur’s Gate 3, to provide more clarity and insight:

Can you have multiple flings in BG3?

Yes, you can have multiple flings, but deeper romantic relationships generally require monogamy. You can flirt and even have intimate encounters with various characters, but those looking for a full romance will need to choose.

Can you romance multiple characters?

Yes, but not simultaneously for deep relationships. You can explore romances with different characters, but the game will eventually require a choice. For those looking to have multiple partners, you will need to pursue relationships with characters that are open to polyamory, like Halsin.

Can you romance Shadowheart after the Nightsong?

You can still attempt a romance, but if you let Shadowheart kill the Nightsong, it will impact her path and reduce the chances of a full romance. Saving the Nightsong is often the best path for securing a deeply satisfying relationship with her.

What happens if Shadowheart becomes a Dark Justiciar?

If Shadowheart kills the Nightsong, she becomes a Dark Justiciar of Shar. She becomes brooding, darker, and more ruthless. This will affect the romantic possibilities with her in a negative way.

Can Shadowheart and Lae’zel ever be friends?

It’s highly unlikely. Their fundamental differences and past interactions make a genuine friendship between them almost impossible. Their relationship will always be tense and conflicted.

What does Shadowheart dislike?

Shadowheart dislikes those who disapprove of her worship, who push her for answers she is not willing to share, needless cruelty, and being overly open with untrustworthy individuals. She responds best to understanding and patience.

Does Lae’zel dislike everyone?

Lae’zel does display hostility to many people, but she has particular disdain for weakness and what she perceives as treachery. Her interactions are often driven by her Githyanki values, which are seen as harsh.

How do you get Shadowheart to sleep with you?

You must gain a high approval from her, and this is usually by making choices aligned with her values and showing her trust. After high approval is achieved and you’ve completed the “Save the Refugees” questline, there will be opportunities to deepen your bond.

Can you have a poly relationship with Shadowheart?

While you can have flings with multiple characters, the deeper romances often involve exclusivity. You cannot have a polyamorous relationship with Shadowheart unless it is specifically with a character who is known to be open to polyamory, such as Halsin.

Can you be poly with Karlach, Lae’zel and Shadowheart?

No. You can have a fling with multiple characters, but deep romantic relationships are usually exclusive. Karlach is not open to a polyamorous relationship with Lae’zel or Shadowheart either. Once you deepen a relationship, you’ll need to choose.

What happens if you let Astarion drink your blood?

Allowing Astarion to drink your blood grants him the “Happy” buff, increasing his check rolls by +1, and will also allow him to use the Vampire Bite action in battle.

How does Shadowheart change her hair?

Shadowheart’s hair changes to silver after the events in Act 2. This change happens when she chooses to follow Selune instead of Shar, signifying a change in her devotion.

What should you do with Shadowheart’s parents?

You can choose to save Shadowheart’s parents on both her Shar or Selune path. This will allow them to join you at camp and will be a valuable event for her.

Is Shadowheart brainwashed?

Yes, Shadowheart was brainwashed by the Sharrans before losing her memory. However, she can choose to break free from this indoctrination and find her true path.

Who is the best romance in BG3?

While subjective, Shadowheart is often regarded as one of the best romance options in BG3, due to her depth, character arc, and the development of her relationship over time.

In conclusion, while Baldur’s Gate 3 offers a plethora of romantic options, the specific pairing of Shadowheart and Lae’zel is not a viable polyamorous option. Their deeply ingrained antagonism and distinct romantic requirements prevent a concurrent romance. Understanding this dynamic is crucial for navigating your romantic journey in the game effectively. Choose your path carefully as these choices will greatly impact your overall gameplay.