Table of Contents

Is It a Sin to Marry a Divorced Man? A Biblical Perspective

The question of whether it’s a sin to marry a divorced man is a complex one, deeply rooted in biblical interpretation and personal conviction. The short answer is: it depends on your interpretation of Scripture and the circumstances surrounding the divorce. There isn’t a universally agreed-upon answer within Christianity, and different denominations and individuals hold varying views. This article aims to explore the different perspectives, offering a nuanced understanding of this often-sensitive topic.

Understanding the Biblical Texts

The primary scriptures that address divorce and remarriage are found in the Gospels (particularly Matthew 5:31-32 and Matthew 19:3-9) and in Paul’s letters (1 Corinthians 7:10-16, 39).

Matthew’s Gospel: Jesus states, “It was also said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” (Matthew 5:31-32). And again in Matthew 19, “I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
Paul’s Writings: Paul addresses the issue in 1 Corinthians, instructing married couples not to separate. However, he also addresses situations where a believer is married to an unbeliever and the unbeliever chooses to leave. In such cases, Paul states the believer is not bound (1 Corinthians 7:15). He also says a woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives (1 Corinthians 7:39).

Varying Interpretations

The differing interpretations of these texts are at the heart of the debate:

The Adultery Clause: The phrase “except for sexual immorality” (often translated as “fornication” or “adultery”) in Matthew’s Gospel is a key point of contention. Some interpret this as the only permissible reason for divorce and, therefore, the only situation in which remarriage is allowed without committing adultery. If the first divorce was not due to “sexual immorality,” then marrying a divorced man is seen as participating in an adulterous relationship.
Innocent Party vs. Guilty Party: Some interpretations focus on who was at fault in the original divorce. Was the man the “innocent party” (e.g., divorced due to his wife’s infidelity)? Or was he the “guilty party” (e.g., he committed adultery)? Some believe that only the innocent party is free to remarry.
The Importance of Forgiveness and Grace: Another perspective emphasizes forgiveness and grace. It acknowledges the pain and brokenness that often accompany divorce and argues that God’s grace extends to those who have been divorced, regardless of the circumstances. This perspective often emphasizes that focusing on past mistakes can hinder present and future happiness. It also prioritizes the character and spiritual maturity of the divorced man.
Contextual Understanding: Some scholars argue for a more nuanced, contextual understanding of the scriptures. They argue that Jesus was addressing the prevalent cultural practices of his time, where men could divorce their wives for trivial reasons, leaving them destitute. Jesus was raising the standard for marriage and emphasizing its sacredness.
Paul’s Exception: Paul makes it plain that when an unbelieving spouse deserts the marriage, the Christian is no longer bound to that relationship. In other words, abandonment is also an exception.

Important Considerations

When considering whether to marry a divorced man, several factors warrant careful consideration:

The Reason for the Divorce: Understanding the circumstances surrounding the divorce is crucial. Was there abuse, adultery, abandonment, or irreconcilable differences? The reason for the divorce can provide insight into the man’s character and his role in the dissolution of the marriage.
His Relationship with His Ex-Wife and Children: If the man has children, his relationship with his ex-wife is essential. Is there healthy co-parenting, or is there ongoing conflict? A healthy relationship (or at least a civil one) demonstrates maturity and responsibility.
His Healing Process: Has he processed the divorce and learned from the experience? Has he sought counseling or engaged in self-reflection? A man who has taken the time to heal is more likely to be emotionally healthy and ready for a new relationship.
His Faith: Does he have a strong faith and seek guidance from God? Does he align with your personal convictions? Shared values and faith are vital for a lasting and fulfilling marriage.
Your Own Convictions: Ultimately, the decision rests on your own personal convictions and your understanding of Scripture. Pray for guidance and seek counsel from trusted spiritual leaders.
Legal and Social Implications: Consider the legal and social implications of marrying a divorced man, particularly if there are children involved. Be prepared for potential challenges and ensure you have a strong support system.
The Ex’s Thoughts. Some people feel it is important to determine what the ex thinks. In some situations, the ex has moved on, and harbors no ill will. In other situations, the ex might be spiteful and try to ruin the new relationship. Be aware of these possibilities.
Is the Divorce Final? Make sure there is no legal reason why the divorce is not finalized.

Conclusion

The question of whether it is a sin to marry a divorced man is not easily answered with a simple “yes” or “no.” It requires careful consideration of Scripture, individual circumstances, and personal conviction. While some interpretations of the Bible suggest that remarriage after divorce is always sinful (except in cases of sexual immorality), others emphasize the importance of forgiveness, grace, and individual conscience. Ultimately, the decision rests on your own understanding of God’s will and your commitment to seeking His guidance. As you navigate this decision, remember to approach it with prayer, discernment, and a reliance on the Games Learning Society (https://www.gameslearningsociety.org/) and other resources for spiritual growth.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

1. What does the Bible say specifically about marrying a divorced man?

The key verses are Matthew 5:32 and Matthew 19:9, where Jesus addresses divorce and remarriage. Interpretations vary, with some believing that remarriage is only permissible after divorce due to sexual immorality.

2. Is it different if the man was the one who initiated the divorce?

Some interpretations distinguish between the “innocent party” and the “guilty party” in a divorce, suggesting that only the innocent party is free to remarry without sinning.

3. What if the divorce happened before he became a Christian?

Some argue that the “slate is wiped clean” upon conversion, meaning that past sins, including divorce, are forgiven. However, this is not a universally accepted view.

4. Does the “adultery clause” in Matthew apply to all situations?

Some scholars believe the “adultery clause” (the exception for sexual immorality) is the only exception to the general prohibition against divorce and remarriage. Others interpret it more broadly, considering other factors.

5. What if the divorce was due to abuse or abandonment?

Some interpretations allow for divorce and remarriage in cases of abuse or abandonment, arguing that these situations violate the covenant of marriage.

6. Is it okay to marry a divorced man if he has children?

This is a personal decision. Consider the impact on the children, the relationship with the ex-wife, and your ability to embrace a step-parenting role.

7. How long should a divorced man wait before remarrying?

There is no specific timeframe in the Bible. However, it’s generally recommended that he take sufficient time to heal and process the divorce before entering a new relationship.

8. What if I feel called by God to marry a divorced man?

Prayerfully consider your feelings and seek counsel from trusted spiritual advisors. Discern whether your feelings align with biblical principles and your understanding of God’s will.

9. Can a divorced man truly love again?

Yes! Divorce doesn’t have to define a person’s capacity for love. With healing and growth, a divorced man can absolutely find love and build a healthy, fulfilling relationship.

10. What are the potential challenges of marrying a divorced man?

Potential challenges include emotional baggage, trust issues, relationship with the ex-wife and children, and societal stigma.

11. Is it possible to have a successful marriage with a divorced man?

Absolutely! Many divorced men go on to have successful and happy second marriages. Key factors include communication, forgiveness, mutual respect, and a shared faith.

12. What if my family and friends disapprove of my marrying a divorced man?

Prayerfully consider their concerns, but ultimately, the decision is yours. Be prepared to defend your choice with grace and conviction.

13. What does it mean to “commit adultery” in the context of remarriage?

The interpretation varies. Some believe it means entering a sexual relationship outside of a biblically sanctioned marriage (i.e., a marriage where neither party has been divorced, or where the divorce was due to sexual immorality).

14. Can God forgive divorce and remarriage?

Most Christians believe in God’s forgiveness. If you have repented of past sins, including divorce, trust in God’s grace and move forward with faith.

15. What if I’m dating a divorced man who was cheated on?

Be faithful, don’t give him any reason to doubt, be gentle, talk about the infidelity, don’t sacrifice what’s important to you, and don’t take on his healing.

Remember to seek guidance from trusted spiritual leaders and rely on the GamesLearningSociety.org for support and resources. Making this decision requires careful consideration, prayer, and reliance on your faith.

Is it a sin to marry a divorced man?