How to Woo Hearts and Win Spouses: Romancing in Skyrim
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You can’t exactly “romance” characters in the traditional sense in Skyrim. There aren’t elaborate courtship rituals or branching dialogue trees solely dedicated to winning someone over with sweet words. Instead, marriage is achieved through a simple, but effective, system of completing a quest and wearing the Amulet of Mara. Find someone you’d like to marry, complete any requests they may have (quests, delivering items, etc.), and then speak to them while wearing the Amulet of Mara. If they’re interested, they’ll acknowledge your interest in marriage and you can proceed with the ceremony.
The Nuances of Nordic Nuptials: A Deeper Dive
While the process may seem straightforward, understanding the nuances will ensure your journey to wedded bliss in Skyrim is as smooth as possible. It’s less about romance and more about compatibility and shared purpose. You’re looking for characters you connect with, characters whose values align with yours, and characters you enjoy adventuring alongside.
Finding Your Soulmate (or at least, a Willing Spouse)
The pool of eligible bachelors and bachelorettes is quite large, encompassing various races, skills, and backgrounds. There are a few avenues to explore to find your ideal partner:
- Exploring the World: Roam the cities, towns, and settlements. Talk to the inhabitants, listen to their stories, and see if anyone catches your eye. Many potential spouses can be found in inns and taverns.
- Completing Quests: Helping people is the quickest way to win their hearts. Often, completing quests for individuals will make them eligible for marriage.
- Joining Factions: Some potential spouses are members of factions like the Companions or the College of Winterhold. Joining these groups not only offers unique quests and skills but also introduces you to potential partners.
- Paying Attention to Personality: Observe the character’s dialogue, actions, and values. Are they kind and compassionate? Brave and adventurous? Loyal and trustworthy? Choose someone whose personality complements yours.
The Amulet of Mara: The Key to Commitment
The Amulet of Mara is essential for initiating the marriage process. This amulet signifies your availability and desire for marriage. You can obtain the amulet in a few ways:
- Purchase from Maramal in Riften: Maramal is a priest of Mara located in the Temple of Mara in Riften. Speaking to him about marriage will lead to a short quest and the opportunity to purchase the Amulet of Mara.
- Finding it as Loot: Occasionally, the Amulet of Mara can be found as random loot in chests or on defeated enemies. However, relying on this method can be unreliable.
Once you have the amulet, equip it and speak to the potential spouse. If they are eligible and have a positive disposition towards you (usually gained by completing quests for them), a new dialogue option will appear indicating your interest in marriage.
Tying the Knot: The Wedding Ceremony
After proposing, your intended spouse will agree to meet you at the Temple of Mara in Riften for the wedding ceremony. You will need to attend the ceremony within 24 hours. If you miss the ceremony, you can speak to Maramal to reschedule.
The wedding ceremony is simple. You’ll listen to a short sermon from Maramal, and then you and your spouse will exchange vows. Once the ceremony is complete, you are officially married!
Life After the Altar: The Benefits of Marriage
Marriage in Skyrim is more than just a symbolic gesture. It comes with tangible benefits:
- Shared Home: Your spouse will move into your chosen residence, allowing you to share your living space.
- Shared Income: Your spouse will open a shop, providing you with a share of their earnings. You can collect your cut periodically.
- Home-Cooked Meals: Your spouse will occasionally cook meals for you, providing temporary stat buffs.
- Companionship: You can still recruit your spouse as a follower, allowing them to fight alongside you on your adventures.
FAQs: Untangling the Threads of Skyrim Romance
1. Can I marry anyone in Skyrim?
No. Only specific NPCs (non-player characters) are flagged as marriage candidates. These are usually characters with whom you have a positive relationship and have completed quests for. Children cannot be married.
2. How do I know if someone is eligible for marriage?
The easiest way is to equip the Amulet of Mara and speak to them. If a dialogue option mentioning marriage appears, they are eligible. Additionally, many guides and wikis provide lists of marriageable NPCs.
3. What if I don’t like the first person I marry? Can I get divorced?
Unfortunately, divorce is not an option in the base game of Skyrim. Once you’re married, you’re married for life. If you kill your spouse, you can potentially marry again, but this is generally considered a negative action with possible consequences.
4. Can I marry someone of the same sex?
Yes! Same-sex marriage is available in Skyrim. The gender of your character does not restrict the pool of potential spouses.
5. Do I need to be a specific race to marry certain NPCs?
No. Race does not play a role in marriage eligibility. You can marry any eligible NPC regardless of your character’s race.
6. What are some of the best marriage candidates in Skyrim?
“Best” is subjective and depends on your preferences. Some popular choices include Aela the Huntress (Companion), Lydia (your first housecarl), Mjoll the Lioness (Riften), and Brelyna Maryon (College of Winterhold).
7. My intended spouse won’t talk to me about marriage, even with the Amulet of Mara equipped. Why?
There are several reasons this might happen:
- You haven’t completed their necessary quest(s).
- They are essential to a questline that hasn’t been completed.
- Your disposition with them is too low (commit crimes in their hold).
- A bug or glitch is preventing the dialogue option from appearing. Try reloading a previous save or using console commands (if on PC).
8. How do I move my spouse into my house?
After the wedding, your spouse will ask where you want to live. You can choose any house you own. If you don’t own a house, you can purchase one in various cities throughout Skyrim.
9. Can my spouse die?
Yes. If your spouse is acting as your follower, they can be killed in combat. Some spouses are essential NPCs, meaning they can only be downed in combat and will recover.
10. Does marriage affect my character’s skills or abilities?
Not directly. However, the “Lover’s Comfort” bonus you receive when sleeping near your spouse grants a temporary skill XP boost.
11. Can my spouse be a steward for my Hearthfire home?
Yes! If you have the Hearthfire DLC, you can ask your spouse to become the steward of one of your custom-built homes. Stewards manage the property, purchase resources, and hire other NPCs.
12. Can I have children in Skyrim?
Yes, but only if you have adopted them with the Hearthfire DLC. You cannot have biological children in the game.
13. How do I adopt children in Skyrim?
You can adopt children from Honorhall Orphanage in Riften, or find orphans living on the streets. You must have a home with a children’s bedroom to be eligible for adoption.
14. Can I marry a follower from a mod?
Potentially, yes. It depends on whether the mod author has flagged the follower as marriageable and whether they have implemented the necessary dialogue and scripts.
15. What happens if I commit crimes against my spouse?
Committing crimes against your spouse will lower their disposition towards you. This could potentially lead to them refusing to follow you or provide you with benefits. In extreme cases, they might even become hostile.
Romance in Skyrim isn’t about flowery language and dramatic declarations. It’s about finding a companion who shares your values, supports your endeavors, and makes the harsh world of Skyrim a little bit warmer. So, grab your Amulet of Mara, embark on your adventures, and find the special someone to share them with.